TEFL: Terrifying English and a Freaked-out Loomis

So, last Monday little Abby Boom Boom wandered into my first day of TEFL thinking, basically, that I didn't really need the class, just the certificate. I mean c'mon, I've tutored ESL for 3 years, volunteer-taught in Austin, I know everything, right?

Oh, so very, very wrong. At the school, I am learning sooo much about language teaching techniques (or at least as much as you can fit in in two very busy weeks) and realizing just how very hard it is. Thank goodness my TEFL teacher, Margaret, is so great, and my compañera in the class is awesome as well: only 28, with a Renée Zellwegger-look and a super relaxed, kind attitude, she has indeed disproved my previously mentioned assertion that married people are boring. Together we are two warriors of TEFL, fighting off the spectres of Tarzan talk, echoing, classroom narration, metalanguage and too much TTT.
Confused? I was too. There are so many codewords and acronyms in the TEFL-verse that it can be intimidating, but I quickly learned the ones that correspond to my weak spots:
Tarzan talk: Our first week we were practice teaching with a group of beginner volunteers. I've mostly worked with beginners, so I wasn't that worried, until Margaret told us that translation was highly discouraged in the classroom, even for people who are just starting! However, you're also not supposed to use "Tarzan talk," a.k.a. "Read. Ask. Tell teacher she pretty." Margaret showed us it wasn't impossible on the first day by giving us a mini lesson in Portuguese. By the end of the hour I was saying "eu so Abby" and I also didn't feel like I had been talked to like a guagua (Chilean for baby).
Echoing: When I first read on the online course that many teachers have a problem with repeating everything that their student said, I thought that was ridiculous. "Well that's one thing I won't have a problem with!" I scoffed to myself.In the class I taught on Friday, Margaret took notes. Echo count? 8. My bad!
Classroom narration: Another common teacher problem I assigned to less brilliant trainees. Cut to me last Thursday in class: "Now, I am going to shut the door!" My double bad!
Meta-language (a.k.a. the terms for elements of English grammar): Until last week, Spanish was hard and English was my friend, my mother tongue, that little blanket of simplicity and ample vocabulary (see? I said "ample," not "big!")I could curl up in when rolled r's and imperfect subjunctive were stabbing me in the heart. Now that I'm actually supposed to underSTAND why English, the muttiest of all mutt languages, is so freakin' weird, I hate it.
TTT (a.k.a. Teacher Talking Time): The worst of all! The big rule is that students in a language class are going to learn the most if they, duh, speak the language. Which means ol Loomball, the Baroness of Banter, Goddess of Gab, Queen of the Quip, Countess of Chatter, Potentate of Purposeless Palaver, better shut up.
In short, it's been tough. However, we are so lucky to have patient, fun and enthusiastic volunteers (who even brought Christmas cake and coffee last Friday, score!), and slowly but surely I'm starting to feel comfortable all by myself up there.